The Artist... really?

Thanks a lot Oscar nominators - you wrangled 10 bucks out of my pocket.  Oh yeah, Golden Globes, you didn't help much either.  And to all you Yahoo! movie reviewers who gave this 4 1/2 stars - I'll see you in HELL!

After all the buildup and buzz, I felt I finally needed to see The Artist.  You know, on that one night out in like 6 months when I actually get to see something in the theater that doesn't require 3D glasses, or multiple trips to the restroom to track down my restless 6 year-old.

I really wanted to like this, I tried... really. The Artist is clever and well-made, but c'mon already, it's PAINFULLY predictable. I guess it would've been ok if it was a 20-minute short film... and it didn't suck.

Ok, ok, I'm being too harsh, it doesn't actually suck, but best picture? no effing way.

It doesn't even belong in the same conversation as Drive, Tree of Life, 13 Assassins or the Descendents.

If you want a heartfelt, nostalgic look at the magical beginnings of cinema, watch the truly inspired, Hugo.

If you want a clever and romantic look into the past, please check out Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris.
 
And if you actually want to sit through a black and white silent film, do yourself a favor and watch Mel Brooks' Silent Movie.  It actually does all that The Artist tries to do, but it's actually funny - and good - and clever - and original.

All through the film my mind kept wandering, hoping that something unexpected would happen - dreaming up twists and tangents that would elevate the film past a simple, pedantic homage.  At the end (spoiler alert)  when he finds all his old belongings in the home of Peppy Le Pew ... I mean Miller,  I was desperately hoping she would turn out to be a psychopathic stalker, jump out from under the sheets and knife him through the chest while the dog lapped up his blood.

Hey, I can dream can't I?

Where are the voices of anger?

We are living in turbulent times my friends.  Most of us live under a cloud of uncertainty - an omnipresent gloom that permeates every waking moment.  How will I pay my rent?  Keep my house? Find a job?  What happens if I get sick?  What kind of a world will my kids live in?  How will our country move forward into these uncertain times without fracturing into a million splinter groups of special interests, each with voices raised in hyperbole and hysteria.

And throughout all this upheaval, what has the medium of cinema had to say about all this?

I'm waiting...

In the 60's and 70's, the turmoil of society was reflected in its cinema.

Movies like Easy Rider, Woodstock, Bonnie & Clyde, The Graduate, Dr Strangelove, Straw Dogs, Taxi Driver, Midnight Cowboy, and Night of the Living Dead represented their times with bold, revolutionary statements, new directions, and a cold hard look at societies' issues.

Vietnam had fractured the country, but starting with MASH in 1970, filmmakers were already attempting to deal with the horrors of war and its effects on our country. 

Then came Coppola's brilliant love letter to chaos and darkness, Apocalypse Now, and eventually, more mainstream efforts like The Deer Hunter, Coming Home, Platoon and Born Under the Fourth of July.


In 1976, Paddy Chayefsky and Sidney Lumet seemed to speak for a whole nation with their brilliant satire, Network:

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" 

In the 80's and 90's a new wave if independent cinema burst in the scene.

Movies like Sex, Lies & Videotape, Do The Right Thing, Slackers, Clerks, Drugstore Cowboy, Stranger Than Paradise all reflected the new attitudes of their era.

In 1999 two films, American Beauty and Fight Club presented very different, but uniquely bold, amazing and heartfelt visions of modern-day existential malaise.

They challenged their viewers to take a closer look at their materialistic priorities.


And then, it all seemed to stop.

Since Sept 11, 2001 this country has gone through multiple ongoing traumas, yet through it all, the filmmakers of today have been incredibly absent from engaging in an intelligent discourse with society that should be helping us all process an unprecedented amount of conflict, upheaval and crisis:

- coping in a post 9/11 world: terrorism; 2 wars waging for a decade; the loss of basic rights under the Patriot Act.

- economic collapse: massive unemployment; foreclosures.

- environmental calamity: global climate change; industrial pollution and devastating oil spills.

- major shifts in the workplace: outsourcing; longer hours; lower wages; increased productivity at the cost of leisure time; 24/7 intrusion of work into our private lives.

- runaway development of advancing technology that outpaces our ability to understand its effects.

- non-stop consumption of images, data and trivial information, with little to no time to actually process any of it.

- a completely dysfunctional government.

- inequal wealth distribution and a vanishing middle class.

- corruption by wall street and corporate interests.

- a major national shift away from being the world's superpower to just another player.

- a nation of repeated violence and tragedy - mass killings - rampage killings, murder/suicides.

- a mass media that fans the flames of ignorance and hatred.

- an oppressive, permeating undercurrent of paranoia that a nightmare apocalypse is just around the corner - 2012, Doomsday, The End of Times.

What have our current filmmakers had to say about these unprecedented turbulent times?  Art can be a crucially important vehicle by which society processes confusing, disruptive and complex new ideas and situations.

While there have been many very good documentaries that have addressed some of these complex issues, I believe that narrative films can do even more to help a society work through its traumas, as cinema works at the subconscious level of myth and archetype. 

I can honestly think of only a couple narrative movies that have attempted to deal with any of these issues: the academy award winning The Hurt Locker and the excellent Up in the Air.

There may be more, but even with these two fine films, neither was really a rallying cry for a generation - neither became a national speaking point, or a prism by which society could direct and clarify its arguments.

I'm still waiting...

I don't necessarily expect Hollywood to be making these kinds of films.  It's just not in their nature (or economic interests) to do so.  But where the hell are the indie voices of indignation, frustration and revolution?

Television seems to have done somewhat better in this regard.  There have been a number of excellent series that have dealt with many of today's pressing issues.

Shows like Rescue Me, Boardwalk Empire, Treme, The Wire, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Louie and Generation Kill represent the times we are living in and the turmoil we all face.

yes, I know Boardwalk Empire is set in the 20's - it is clearly an allegory for today's corrupt political system and economic disparity

But Cinema, that great medium of dream and drama, where are you when we need you the most?  Please prove me wrong - please present me with challenging, revolutionary ideas and visions that reflect our troubled times.  Please shock me with outrageous dramatic representations of war, political corruption, economic upheaval and personal tragedy.

And then please give me stories of hope, compassion and humanities' capacity to do good.

Please tell me it's going to be okay.

So I can sleep at night.

If I Picked the Oscars - Part 2

We're now only three days away from the big night, so I better get my picks in for the rest of the awards:



Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay):

    • “127 Hours” Screenplay by Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy
    • “The Social Network” Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin
    • “Toy Story 3” Screenplay by Michael Arndt; Story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich
    • “True Grit” Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
    • “Winter's Bone” Adapted for the screen by Debra Granik & Anne Rosellini


I liked "The Social Network", but felt it never really got inside the skin of Zuckerberg. For me, "Winter's Bone" stands out for its perfectly nuanced and balanced storytelling.

My Pick - "Winter's Bone"
Oscar's Pick - “The Social Network”  



Best Writing (Original Screenplay):

    • “Another Year” Written by Mike Leigh
    • “The Fighter” Screenplay by Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson;
      Story by Keith Dorrington & Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson
    • “Inception” Written by Christopher Nolan
    • “The Kids Are All Right” Written by Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart Blumberg
    • “The King's Speech” Screenplay by David Seidler

"The Fighter" and "Inception" were great.  "The Kids Are All Right" was funny and poignant.  "The King's Speech" was... well, I'll get into that later.

 My Pick - "Inception".  This multi-layered Borges meets the Matrix head-spinner was complex, thought-provoking and yet personal at the same time.

Oscar's Pick - “The King's Speech”.  Ok - here's the deal.  This was a good film.  There was nothing wrong with it.  It is a simple story told well.  But it's just so damned safe.  It takes absolutely no chances.  It is basically an ABC afterschool special: dude has stuttering problem... dude overcomes stuttering problem, except the dude just happens to be the future King of England.

When you compare this to really great movies, this one story arc would just be a subplot, woven into a bigger, more compelling whole.  Really folks, get over it.  Does this movie come even close to "The Godfather",  "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest",  "Amadeus", or "Silence of the Lambs"?

I didn't think so.




Best Documentary (Feature):

    • “Exit through the Gift Shop” Banksy and Jaimie D'Cruz
    • “Gasland” Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic
    • “Inside Job” Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
    • “Restrepo” Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger
    • “Waste Land” Lucy Walker and Angus Aynsley

This is a very strong category this year.  "Gasland" is a compelling personal journey through the toxic wasteland of Natural Gas Drilling.  "Restrepo" does a tremendous job showing the viewer what life is truly like for U.S. soldiers serving duty in Afghanistan's Korangal Valley.  And "Inside Job" explores the nausea-inducing reality of the wall-street players who continue to hold the White House hostage.

For me however, "Exit Through the Gift Shop" stood out for its unique journey that explored the concepts of art, fame, and media manipulation.  And I'm still not even sure it was a documentary...

My Pick - "Exit Through the Gift Shop"
Oscar's Pick -  This is a toss-up here.   I'll guess they give it to "Inside Job" to send a message to the controlling interests that rule Wall Street, the Republican Party, the Top 1% high-income earners, the Tea Party...  not to get on a political rant or anything here...




Best Actor: 

    •  Javier Bardem in “Biutiful”
    •  Jeff Bridges in “True Grit”
    •  Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network”
    •  Colin Firth in “The King's Speech”
    •  James Franco in “127 Hours”

This one's tough because I've only seen "Social Network" and "King's Speech" and to be honest, I wasn't blown away by either performance.  In all fairness I really shouldn't make a pick in this category, but who said this was fair anyway?  I'm going to give it to Javier Bardem because I've heard great things about the movie and the guy is a total acting stud - so there.

My Pick - Javier Bardem in “Biutiful”
Oscar's Pick - Colin Firth in “The King's Speech”  The Academy loves them some feel-good movie and especially any acting gymnastics.  A king who overcomes a speech impediment is an easy, safe pick.



Best Actress:


    •  Annette Bening in “The Kids Are All Right”
    •  Nicole Kidman in “Rabbit Hole”
    •  Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter's Bone”
    •  Natalie Portman in “Black Swan”
    •  Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine”


An easy pick for me.  It comes down to Natalie Portman and Jennifer Lawrence.  They both carry their films - the entire narrative rests on their shoulders.  Both bring extraordinary performances.  For me however, Jennifer Lawrence was a revelation.  She created such an authentic, understated yet dynamic and powerful performance as a sixteen-year old desperately trying to hold her family together, that I think she deserves it the most.

My Pick - Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter's Bone”
Oscar's Pick - Natalie Portman in “Black Swan”  Portman's performance as a ballerina at the tipping point of madness is a tour-de-force, and she deserves all the accolades she has received.  She is the obvious choice and will most likely win.



Best Director:

    • “Black Swan” Darren Aronofsky
    • “The Fighter” David O. Russell
    • “The King's Speech” Tom Hooper
    • “The Social Network” David Fincher
    • “True Grit” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen

 Ok - down to the nitty gritty here.  I love Fincher and the Cohen Brothers, but don't think their work was Oscar-level this year.   Tom Hooper makes nice ABC after-school specials... er, I mean movies (actually, I liked "The Damned United" much more than "King's Speech"), but c'mon.. let's get real here.

That leaves Aronofsky's "Black Swan" and David O. Russell's, "The Fighter" (and I would also add, Debra Granik for "Winter's Bone".)  Aronofsky showed true film mastery with absolute control of his psychological thriller.  All elements of the film were fully realized to support the central theme.  Russell showed a lighter touch, though no less effective, letting his actors control the scenes and weave a heart-heavy tale of redemption, balancing humor and pathos and never regressing to melodrama.
Debra Granik, like Russell, chose a verite approach to weave her neo-noir tale - perfectly nailing the appropriate tone for such a story.

My Pick - “Black Swan” Darren Aronofsky.  I'm torn here, but give Aronofsky the slight nod over Russell and Granik.  Great jobs by all.
Oscar's Pick - “Black Swan” Darren Aronofsky.  I think this one is a slam dunk for Aronofsky.  He is one of cinema's shining lights.

And now...  Drumroll please...  Time to get the kids to bed and drain the last of the drinks, 'cuz the show's almost over.  Just one last Oscar to give out...



Best Picture:

    • “Black Swan” Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver and Scott Franklin, Producers
    • “The Fighter” David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman and Mark Wahlberg, Producers
    • “Inception” Emma Thomas and Christopher Nolan, Producers
    • “The Kids Are All Right” Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte and Celine Rattray, Producers
    • “The King's Speech” Iain Canning, Emile Sherman and Gareth Unwin, Producers
    • “127 Hours” Christian Colson, Danny Boyle and John Smithson, Producers
    • “The Social Network” Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
    • “Toy Story 3” Darla K. Anderson, Producer
    • “True Grit” Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
    • “Winter's Bone" Anne Rosellini and Alix Madigan-Yorkin, Producers



Dang... that's a long list!  But I'll make this short, because by now, you pretty much know my take on these films.


It's a close call, and I love them both, but I have to give "Winter's Bone" the slight edge over "The Fighter", simply because of its more original story.  If "Black Swan" had walked the line a little more convincingly between horror and psychological thriller (ala "Rosemary's Baby" "Jacob's Ladder", "Angel Heart") then that would have been my choice.

My Pick - "Winter's Bone"
Oscar's Pick - "Black Swan".     If "King's Speech" wins, please shoot me and put me out of my misery.

If I Picked the Oscars

Every year we do a little Oscar get together at my place - watch the show, critique the fashion, check out the parade-of-dead-stars montage and say, "Oh, that's right, I forgot HE died...", but most importantly we bet on the winners.  That's right, while the Super Bowl may be the single most bet-upon day every year, in my house Oscar night is the time to put your big ol' $5 bill on the line and put up or shut up.

Just like Fantasy Football magically makes that Arizona vs. Jacksonville game so exciting 'cause you're hoping Jay Feely can kick you 6 points so you can pummel your best friend and gloat about it at work the next day, so does betting on the Academy Awards suddenly make that best animated short category the single most important thing in the world 2 1/2 hours into the always excessively long ceremony.  And trust me, the overall winner each year is almost always determined by who correctly picks "Logorama" over "Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty."  What's that you say, you've never even heard of those flicks, well welcome to the club my friend, now put your fiver in the hat, pick up your pen and do what we all do...

Guess.

That's why my 8-year old has about as good a chance as I do.  It's like they always say, "The family that bets together, stays together..."

Anyway, in this post I will not do that - pick all the winners that is.  Because let's face it, I wanna win that pot as much as the next guy.  No, in this post I'd like to do what Siskel & Ebert used to do, which is present my picks as if I were suddenly king of the academy and able to choose the winners from the best and brightest cinema had to offer in 2010.  I will use their list of nominees as a starting point, except for when they completely whiff and ignore great work.  Ok, and I'll also throw in my predictions of who I think the Academy will choose for the big categories - those are usually pretty obvious anyway.  And I won't do every single category - just the ones I care about and where I've seen the majority of the contenders.  Unless I decide not to.  So there.

Alright then... bring it on!

Golden Globes - quick hits

Some off-hand observations from an evening of Hollywood glitter and self congratulation.

First off, when you bring Ricky Gervais back a second time you really should know what you're getting yourself into.  Have a little thicker skin folks - these are jokes, 'mkay?

That being said, I doubt we'll see him next year.

His best line of the evening wasn't even directed to anyone in particular and was said right at the end, so many may have missed it:

"And finally, thank you to God for making me an atheist."


And now to my awards:

The Toughest Category goes to:

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series Drama (and longest category title)
Steve Buscemi
Bryan Cranston
Michael C. Hall
Jon Hamm
Hugh Laurie

Wow, now that's a loaded category.  Any one of them could have easily taken the award and although I would have preferred Cranston, I was happy to see Buscemi bring it home.




The Who Knew He Owned a Tux award goes to:

Trent Reznor

Nice job rockin' the thin tie-look. 




The Most Inspirational award goes to: 

 Glee star Chris Colfer and his heartfelt speech:
"But mostly importantly [a thank you] to all the amazing kids that watch our show and that our show celebrates and are constantly told 'no' [by] people and environments and bullies at school, that they can't be who they are or can't have what they want because of who they are... Screw that, kids."




The Best Presenter award is awarded to:

Robert Downey - Hilarious, witty, bawdy and perfect timing as always.  Perhaps we just saw next year's presenter???

(Runners up - Steve Carell and Tina Fey)




The So Last Year's News award goes to:

Mad Men.  Sorry folks, no love this year - although I still love ya.



The Best Acceptance Speech award goes to:

(Tie)  David Fincher and Steve Buscemi.  Concise, well-thought, funny and to the point.  Well done, lads.




The OMG, is She Actually Wearing That award goes to:

 

January Jones... who knew?? 
Sorry, I guess that should be How is She Actually Wearing That...

(two-sided tape)




The Wish I Knew What He Said award goes to:

Paul Giamatti.  He got bleeped right away - then kept the censor's fingers trembling the rest of the way.  God, how I love that guy!



The Creepy-as-all-Hell-Laugh award goes to:

Natalie Portman, right after she delivered the line, "He totally wants to sleep with me...", she let out this weird snickering cackle, which made her punch-line very creepy indeed.



The Most Gratuitous Cutaway award goes to:

Brad & Angelina.  Besides being the butt of many of Gervais' zingers, there really was no reason to be seeing them every third cutaway.  Except of course that they are... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Also, Jack Nicholson wasn't there.



The Hey, Could we Actually Hear From Someone Who Deserves It award goes to:

Lisa Cholodenko, the Writer/Director of award-winning The Kids are Alright had to stand mute as the producer yapped on and on and took all the glory.  Now, I know the award is officially given to the producer, but cripes, it is her movie, at least let her say something.



The Looking Like a Wax Figure award goes to:

Sadly, Sandra Bullock, who usually comes off so effortlessly beautiful and charming looked sad and a little waxen. Ouch.



And, finally the Biggest Winner award goes to:

The Social Network won for Best Director, Best Drama, Best Screenplay and Best Original Score.
Nice job to Mr. Fincher - he looks to be a lock for Oscar Night as well.

Winter's Bone - a triumphant win of silence over car crashes

Winter's Bone is a movie that Hollywood could never produce.

They just couldn't.

It is a quiet, studied examination of the scorched aftermath of meth, and the determined spirit of one young woman who tirelessly fights for those she loves.

It tells the tale of a community ravaged by drugs, the dysfunction of the police to do anything about it, and the folks who are just barely hanging on. It is the type of storyline that you could easily imagine being one of the threads of HBO's The Wire, but this time, instead of a bombed out Baltimore slum, the story takes place in the cold Ozark mountains.

Director Debra Granik does a brilliant job letting her tale unfold naturally.  The cinema verite style allows the viewer to enter this world as a documentary viewer might - taking in the sights, gently getting a feel for these characters, until at around the eleven minute mark the plot point that propels the narrative is finally revealed.

17-year-old Ree Dolly, forced to look after her two younger siblings and her incapacitated mother, discovers that her wayward meth-cooking father is due to appear in court soon and has put the house up for collateral for his bail bond.  If he fails to appear in court, they stand to lose everything. Meager as it is, their house and property are the only thing holding this shattered family together.  Ree desperately tries to track her dad down through a series of tense encounters with the local community - most of whom are somehow related.  Round these parts it seems almost everyone is kinfolk.

If taken out of its rural surroundings and placed in a dark, nighttime urban environment, Winter's Bone could easily be seen as a classic Film Noir thriller.  Our protagonist stands alone trying to unravel a mystery while dangerous unknown forces thwart her at every turn.  She is met with indifference at best, and violence at worst and inevitably comes face to face with the shocking reality of what has become of her father, and what she must do to carry on.

A great movie of determination and will, Winter's Bone is not for those who need a car crash every five minutes to keep them awake.  Sit down, settle in and let the movie work through you.  Jennifer Lawrence's performance as Bree is both effortless and spellbinding and she absolutely deserves an Academy Award nomination, as does Debra Granik for her amazing pitch perfect direction.  I hope it will also receive a nod for best adapted screenplay as well, from the novel by Daniel Woodrell.  Granik and screenwriter Anne Rosellini do a tremendous job of letting scenes breathe and displaying the classic screenwriting ethos of "show,  don't tell".

Be sure to check out Winter's Bone - it may even soon be re-released into the theaters again when the Oscar buzz hits the beginning of next year.

4 stars! (out of 5)

Blade Runner the Blu-ray Way - An Inspiration

So, since I'm sending out copies of Enter the Dark to film fests and some of them will accept Blu-ray as a screening format I realized it was time to get a Blu-ray burner.  And since my old friend Steve Jobs, in all his grandiose wisdom has decreed that storage is so 20th century and all data shall live on the cloud and therefore is not supporting Blu-ray in any real way, I was forced to get a big ol' clunky external Blu-ray burner.  So now I can burn discs, but guess what?

Can't play em back.  It kinda defeats the purpose of sending them to festivals if I can't tell if my Blu-ray disc is a beautiful, pristine Hi-Def version of my film or a blue-tinged coaster.

So there must be some sort of Blu-ray software player for the Mac right?

Nope.

Effing Steve Jobs and his holier than thou bull$!++, ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME??!?!

Ok, fine - so I start looking at Blu-ray players and realize that I can just get a PS3 and be able to not only play back Blu-ray discs, but waste a lot of time goofing off with video games as well.

Sounds like a good deal to me.

So I get the PS3, and after an hour or so of tinkering to get it working right I look around for a Blu-ray disc to play.

... uh...

...And just when I'm about to give myself a full face plant for being so stupid not to have a Blu-ray disc to play I remember that cool gift I got like two Christmases ago.

That's right, the big ol' 5 disc limited edition Voight-Kampff suitcase Blade Runner sooper dooper Blu-ray extravaganza.

Now when I originally got this, I immediately watched all the DVD extra features but sadly was unable to actually watch the HD version of the movie as I lacked the vitally important Blu-ray player.

So now I've got PS3 via HDMI, pushing 1080p into my Panny Plasma - welcome to the 21st century my friend...

And oh....  It looks so good.

 I can't tell you how many crappy copies I've seen of this film - director's cuts, original cuts, alternate cuts - VHS, DVD...  and now here is the effing industrial wasteland skyline of LA - and an amazing huge frigging eyeball with massive flameballs reflected in his gaze.

And the Tyrell Corp building... wow...

Yes, that is my jaw hitting the floor and I'm remembering what it was like to watch this on the big screen the first time...  It was so beautiful and effing cool, you just had to laugh.

Thank you Ridley.

You know when you have those moments, when you see or hear something that is so frigging amazing it makes you want to stop what you are doing and make some art - total inspiration.

And then there are other times when you see something so amazing and perfect you kinda go - well, what's the point?  I could never come close to that...

Shortly before Stevie Ray Vaughn's untimely tragic death, he played a series of concerts with Jeff Beck.  My buddy Charles and I went to see them at the Oakland Coliseum.  Now, we had seen Jeff Beck play with Eric Clapton and Jimmy Page a few years earlier (for the A.R.M.S. concert), and it was clear to everyone that Beck had blown everyone else off the stage.  The dude was that good (and still is to this day).  We had also seen Stevie play a couple of times and knew what to expect from the Texas guitar-slinger, so we were looking forward to a night of major fretburning.

Stevie came out and killed it - absolutely killed it.  It was like he was directly plugged into the source, receiving signals from elsewhere and he was just a conduit for perfect artistic expression.  He was that on.  I guess Jeff Beck played that night - I don't really remember.

Now at this time, Charles and I had both been dabbling on the guitar for a few years and we knew a few things.  I myself had spent a year or so picking up Stevie Ray chops and so I was very familiar with his ferocious, yet beautiful blues-based style.  But this was different.  He went further - so much further and left me with the feeling of, "why bother - I will never, ever be that good."

After the concert Charles was jacked up, "Wow, that was frigging amazing!!  I totally want to pick up my guitar right now and play!"  I was like, "Are you kidding, I never want to play again - why bother?"

Of course I did pick up the guitar again eventually - but I'll never forget that night.

A short while after that Charles and I went to see some new guitar-geek play at the Fillmore in San Francisco.  He was some dude who was getting a lot of buzz because he had taught a couple of high-profile guitar players, and his new album had just come out which sounded like a mad blend of Van Halen, ZZ-Top and Allan Holdsworth.

His name was Joe Satriani.

I was expecting to see a typical clinic of frenetic tapping, speed-picking and feedback-laced harmonic squeals.  What I saw was another amazing performance by an artist completely tapped in.  He had this whole Hendrix vibe that was totally unexpected.  Charles and I squeezed our way to the front to get a better view.  Everyone in the audience was a guitar geek and we were all staring at his left hand - soaking in the secrets to his incredible playing.

Something in my brain clicked.  A revelation.  I understood.

Charles and I left that night totally blown away.  I was like, "That was friggin amazing!  All that stuff he was doing - I could finally SEE what was going on!  I want to go pick up my guitar right now and play!"  Charles was like, "Why bother - I'll never be that good..."

That's just the way it happens sometimes...  One man's inspiration is another man's realization that he should put away his childish dreams in the presence of such pure talent.

As I sat there and watched the opening scenes of Blade Runner in all it's Hi-Def glory, I had one of those moments.  It made me want to pick up a camera.  I want to make a great sci-fi noir movie, bathed in light and shadow.  I want it to be breathtakingly beautiful and hauntingly sad.

Will it be as good as Blade Runner?  Probably not.  But just by trying, it could be better than most of the uninspired movies produced by Hollywood.  If I could somehow tap into the source that Stevie Ray and Joe and Ridley drew from, maybe someday someone will watch one of my movies and say "Damn! I wanna make something like that", while their buddy says, "Why bother... it'll never be that good."

Teal and Orange offender of the month

This month's offender for biggest misuse of teal and orange goes to that great romantic comedy that everyone no one is talking about, The Switch. I guess if you fail at making an original, funny, and memorable movie, at least you can make it look original.

Oh wait...

You guys gotta stop making this so easy for me.  I mean really.

 This one I really like - I mean since you're already wearing the teal dress, you might as well adorn it with those beautiful orange flowers.

 

 

 Again, I have nothing against tweaking a shot so the backgrounds are generally cooler and the foregrounds and actors are generally warmer - I get it, I really do.   What drives me ape$H!T is the effing teal background color.  Not blue, but practically green.

 

Hey, nice day for a muscle shirt.  I wonder what color I happen to have today...

 

 

Here we go - finally a nice shot with some natural greens and browns - even a touch of violet.  Thank you Cinematographer and Colorist. Oh wait, what the eff is that kid wearing?  Oh look, it's a two-tone puffy vest.  No, it's an effing ORANGE AND TEAL two-tone puffy vest!!!  DAMN YOU ART DIRECTOR!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

Please someone put me out of my misery.  I'm pretty sure when I was growing up those things were like solid navy blue or nasty grungy red.

Oh well, there's always next month...